Insomnia and Insomnia


What a forgettable movie.

I remember the hype for this movie: Robin Williams at the pinnacle of his “dark” phase, paying back his actorly debt for starring in such awful tripe like “Patch Adams” and “Bicentennial Man.”  Al Pacino hoo-ahhing his way through the 2000s, riding a wave of goodwill from the 70s/80s.  Hilary Swank going mainstream.  Director Christopher Nolan cashing in a big check after the “Memento” acclaim.  Based on a hit Norweigan film back when remaking every foreign movie hadn’t yet become all the rage.

Naturally it was a snoozefest.  I saw it in theaters and honestly couldn’t tell you a single thing about it other than it takes place in Alaska, Al Pacino can’t sleep because it’s bright all day and night, and he’s obsessed with catching Robin Williams because he killed somebody.  (Swank was Pacino’s partner? Maybe?  Who cares.) It was two hours of my life that I barely remember having taken place.  Kind of a waste now that I think about it.  But the whole reason that I’m thinking about it at all at 2:07am on an early Monday morning is the actual eponymous affliction: insomnia.

I’m now finding that sitting through the film “Insomnia” isn’t much different than having bouts of insomnia.  Before I know it, it will most likely be around four in the morning and I’ll have trouble remembering just what I did to occupy the past two hours of my life.  There will be fleeting images of trolling ESPN news articles, maybe an online game of backgammon, writing a blog perhaps.  Oh, look, “Dazed and Confused” just came on.  That’ll kill another couple hours.

It’s not really insomnia.  I do sleep.  It’s just not at all on a remotely healthy schedule.  If I try to go to bed before 4am, I’ll toss and turn, usually have nightmares, and wake up in a cold sweat.  That’s if I fall asleep.  I don’t take naps.  I drink caffeine but no more than I ever have and I’ve never had this trouble before.

Perhaps this is just my natural rhythm and my faux-insomnia really is just me fighting my own innate, biological clock.  Some people need eight hours of sleep to function.  Others get sleepy before Letterman and some don’t even need sleep at all.

Me?  Well, I can’t fall asleep before 4am.  And that’s okay.  That’s just how I am.

Maybe now that I’ve established this about myself,  I can shake society’s disapproving looks and just roll with it.  Maybe this is like finally catching Robin Williams.  I just hope I don’t look as tired as Pacino does.

See you around noon.

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