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Where’d you meet? I’d rather not say.

01.30.09

romance-7643831Last night while out with friends – all of whom were female – the topic of Internet dating somehow came up.  Naturally everyone starting whining and complaining about how awful their experiences were in the world of cyber courtship and how they only even signed up in the first place out of a sense of desperation, not really expecting anything, yet being very jaded when it didn’t end up producing a single relationship lasting longer than two hours.

I asked them, “So, what’s a better way to meet people?  Bars?”

No way.

“How about at work?”

Nope.  What if the relationship fails and you have to see the ex every day in the office?

How then?

“Through a friend.”

Sure.  That sounds like the best method.  Most likely the prospect is not a serial killer since your friends are his friends.  A group meet can be set up so as to alleviate the traditional first-date jitters.

But, the problem with this entire line of thinking is having the mindset that the method in which you meet someone actually has a value, and that value may even exceed the potential happiness associated with meeting someone good.

Some people have these lofty goals of meeting their future love-of-their-life at the supermarket over some cute and charmingly funny little exchange in the pasta aisle when they’re least expecting it.  How many of your friends in relationships have met in that manner?  I can safely answer NONE.

What does that mean?  That it’s not possible?  Of course not.  But again, it’s placing way too much importance on a meet-cute instead of just meeting someone cute.

Dating is dating.  You meet someone.  You’re both interested.  You go out.  If it works, you keep going out.  If not, you don’t.  Rinse and repeat.  Who cares how it starts?

This is why I don’t see a stigma at all with any situation in which you meet someone you happen to like.  Internet dating, sports bars, friend’s parties, strip clubs, department stores, traffic stops, dog parks, speed dating, gyms, at Blockbuster, on vacation.  It.  Doesn’t.  Matter.

Dating is Machiavellian: the ends justifies the means.

I hereby declare a moratorium on guilt and shame associated with meeting that special someone in a typical unsavory location, namely bars and the Internet.  Enough is enough.

So get out there.  Sign up for Match.com.  Go to the local bar.  Chat up that crush at work.  Stop a random person on the street.  All bets are off.  No location is better than another when it comes to love.

Except Craigslist.  That place is a cesspool.

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5 comments

  1. I’ll cheers to that! I’ve had success with both internet dating and work dating. While I kind of stopped the internet dating I met two really cool guys that I’m still friends with. One I dated for like 4 months but then he left the country for travel. Even though it didn’t work out in the end it was still fun in the meantime and I made friends out of it. And dating someone that is a friend of a friend isn’t always the perfect situation. What if things go really sour and then your friend is stuck in the middle. Trust me, I’ve had enough bad situations that I don’t want to be the middle man anymore.


  2. Ha, Craig’s List. I have a friend – and in LA – who has been trying Internet dating for about a year now. She’s had lots of fun meeting great guys through a variety of site. Except for Craig’s List. LOL – cesspool would have been the best way to describe her experience there!


  3. I go with “friend of a friend” everyone shuts up.


  4. first, that pic is hilarious. did you google “cheesy romance novel cover pic” or what?

    i definitely agree with your argument. i just wish one of those methods would pan out already… ;)


  5. Agree. Well stated.



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