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Jesus H. Christ: Dinosaur Rider

03.23.09

raptor

Really?  I’m (pretty) sure that this is fringe Christianity, but give me a break.  There are enough people out there who truly believe that their god rode dinosaurs that they needed to publish a coloring book for kids to teach them of this absurdity.  And it’s not like The Son is riding just a stegosaurus or brontosaurus, either.

A fucking velociraptor.

Not that I’d expect a Biblical coloring book to get the specs correct on prehistoric reptiles, it sure looks more like a small T-Rex.  Either that or Jesus was 12 feet tall.  Which, hey, if we don’t know for sure that he rode dinos, then how do we know he wasn’t epically tall?

And how about those color descriptions.  Perfect White?  Really?  As opposed to Abomination Black?  While we’re at it, let’s forget the fact that Yeshua looks like Fabio.

Good job, Evangelicals.  You worship a dinosaur riding Fabio.  Your poor, brainwashed kids have no hope.

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8 comments

  1. Somewhere I my computer I have a WHOLE Christian comic book explaining how the Dinosaurs died during the flood. I believe there are pictures of Angels shooting lazers at them so they don’t board the ark. It even explains why the fossils are where they are. I think it may be in my DUSTY OLD Livejournal.


    • That’s so awesome. Although, this particular book claims that the dinosaurs SURVIVED the flood. I think you do have it in your old LiveJournal. Are those still live? I had SO many pictures on mine back in the day.


  2. I don’t think that this is as fringe as you believe. Most people don’t even begin to think about such things even when they consider themselves Christians. I’m sure that if you pressed them on the issue you’d get a surprising number admitting that Jesus probably did ride dinosaurs.

    Even better: those obviously carnivorous animals were actually herbivores until Adam’s ate from the Tree of Knowledge. If you want more info you can get it from the self published journal put out by the Institute for Creation Research. It’s quite hilarious.


  3. As a Christian who just stumbled upon this post, I have to agree with you that all too many buy into things like this. However, there are plenty of Christians who look at this kind of stuff as downright goofy. It is possible to be a Christian and a scientist (I am a geologist) without accepting things like this, which are not even taught in the Bible.


    • It is refreshing to see your post. What you wrote is a reason why I still consider this fantastical book to be part of the fringe. I’m glad that there are still people out there who are able to separate religion from science as teaching vastly different things. I just hope that Christianity steers off its current course of heading straight into fundamentalism and reverts back toward something more moderate. Evangelicals are ruining the faith.


  4. I agree with Theo. I am a Christian and I thought the cartoon was a joke and was shocked that people are actually trying to teach their children this.

    We are just not going to know everything. We dont know what Jesus looked like, we’re not sure exactly how long the Earth has been here, we dont know how the dinosaurs died-precisely. Why would Angels want to kill dinosaurs?


  5. my crayolas did not contain the color “flesh of crist” or “omnipotent yellow.” I’d have been screwed in this coloring exercise.

    on this note however, when at clemson, the students from bob jones would travel down on friday nights to provide us miscreants with the proper biblical information to be informed. I remember a number of arguments on this fact and they were adamant that it was fact. silly, silly people.


  6. Ha! Thank you, I needed a good laugh.



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