To The Guy Smoking In Front Of Me Outside Coffee Bean11.01.09
Seriously, man, fuck you.
I realize that you’re a smoker. Fine. I don’t get why asbestos has been outlawed yet people can still smoke inside restaurants in most of the country. And, yes, I’m very glad that I live in a city that has outlawed smoking indoors so you’re not breaking the law by sitting outside right now smoking your cigarettes.
But why do you need to sit outside this coffee shop – where NO ONE ELSE IS SMOKING – and light up to ruin it for everyone else? This isn’t a bar. This isn’t your apartment. This is a fucking coffee shop. You’re not even drinking anything!
Outdoor public areas should all be non-smoking because this is bullshit. I live in Southern California so that I can sit outside on the first day of November and enjoy the weather. If I wanted to breathe in poisonous air, I could’ve stayed in Michigan and gone to the local Texan. It’s not like I can’t smell your second-hand smoke simply because we’re outside; that scent doesn’t magically disappear or anything. When a car passes by that clearly hasn’t passed emissions testing, you can smell that, can’t you? And what does it smell like? Right, it smells fucking terrible. That’s what your cigarette smells like to me and everyone else who isn’t smoking that is sitting around you trying to enjoy the occasional wafts of ocean air that pass by.
But, no. You sit there and you laugh that guttural, malignant laugh and you suck on that cigarette and blow the smoke high up into the air so that the breeze can really take it and send it to as many victims as possible and then hold the cigarette off to the side so that the burning end can ruin everyone else’s lungs while you give your own a rest.
And then to top it all off, you toss your still-smoldering cigarette butt onto the parking lot asphalt, so that shit can get kicked, pushed, and washed into the gutters and eventually the ocean so that it finally gets absorbed into the ground and nourishes the earth with its bounty of tar, carbon monoxide, rat poison, formaldehyde, ammonia, arsenic, and nicotine.
Fuck you, man. Seriously, fuck you.
Go inhale your carcinogens somewhere else you gravelly-voiced, yellow-toothed, inconsiderate fuck.