Posts Tagged ‘Evangelicals’

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Jesus H. Christ: Dinosaur Rider

03.23.09

raptor

Really?  I’m (pretty) sure that this is fringe Christianity, but give me a break.  There are enough people out there who truly believe that their god rode dinosaurs that they needed to publish a coloring book for kids to teach them of this absurdity.  And it’s not like The Son is riding just a stegosaurus or brontosaurus, either.

A fucking velociraptor.

Not that I’d expect a Biblical coloring book to get the specs correct on prehistoric reptiles, it sure looks more like a small T-Rex.  Either that or Jesus was 12 feet tall.  Which, hey, if we don’t know for sure that he rode dinos, then how do we know he wasn’t epically tall?

And how about those color descriptions.  Perfect White?  Really?  As opposed to Abomination Black?  While we’re at it, let’s forget the fact that Yeshua looks like Fabio.

Good job, Evangelicals.  You worship a dinosaur riding Fabio.  Your poor, brainwashed kids have no hope.

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The Bible: The GOP’s Political Handbook

03.13.09

In case you weren’t aware, the current US political system is split into essentially two major parties (Independent, you’re not quite there yet): the Democrats and the Republicans.  Although, this doesn’t really explain it well enough.  From the Red State point of view the split would look some thing like: the Heathens and the Righteous.

I used to get really upset and annoyed that the GOP just co-opted religion (namely fundamentalist Christianity) as one of the building blocks of their party and cast aside everyone else as godless and immoral.  Why do they get to have it all to themselves, as if they’re the only ones interesting in morality and family?  (Not that I want anything to do with their form of religion, of course.  Or any, for that matter.  But just the fact that they’re trying to make it seem like no Democrat is religious is ignorant and insulting.)

And when I read things like:

“Chairman Steele, as the leader of America’s Pro-Life conservative party, needs to re-read the Bible, the U.S. Constitution, and the 2008 GOP Platform. He then needs to get to work — or get out of the way,” – Kenneth Blackwell, a rival to Steele.

So, the GOP essentially is just a Pro-Life Party.  Nothing else matters.  Certainly not the economy, since GOP governors are refusing the stimulus package.  No wonder the Democrats run Congress and the Executive Branch.

Luckily, the time for getting irate is over.  The GOP has crossed over into being totally laughable.  Palin ran on traditional family values and now her unwed, mother-of-one 17-year-old daughter has dumped her boyfriend (poor Levi).  I have no problem with this personally whatsoever, mind you, but when you claim to be totally against that type of lifestyle there seems to be a lack of sincerity and reality.  Mainly reality.  And McCain just continues being the crabby old man we saw in the debates.

Nevermind the fact that Rush Limbaugh has been the most vocal GOP “leader” for the past couple months.

The reality is that people do want that separation of church and state.  I know I’m sick and tired of religion being at the forefront of political discussions.  The crazier the right gets with their “holier than thou” political movement, the better it will be in the long run for all of us because it’s only going to implode on them when they realize that a small section of Southern Evangelicals will not carry them to the Oval Office in 2012.

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68-Year-Old Woman Upholds the Sanctity of (Heterosexual) Marriage

02.19.09

Linda Lou Taylor is 68 years old.  She lives in Anderson, Indiana.  And she has been married 23 times.

Twenty-three times!

And this is the article that we have about it.  A standard, little NBC Chicago slice-of-life piece.  Taylor is a Guinness World Record holder, after all.

I really could care less about Taylor and her nearly two-dozen (failed) marriages.  It doesn’t affect my life in the least.  Nothing has changed for me since having read about her numerous nuptial exploits.

And it shouldn’t matter to anyone else, either.  Other than some bored journalist who thought it’d be interesting to hear Taylor say that she’d get married again because “it gets lonely,” there’s really nothing of interest in this piece any more than there would be of the Guinness record holder of longest fingernails (you remember that picture of that Indian guy – I wonder if he’s still holds the record.) cutting his fingernails and growing them back again.

One of her marriages lasted seven years (the longest) and another less than two days.  Taylor admits that her last marriage wasn’t even done out of love;  it happened because he was the most-married man and she was the most-married woman.  Match made in Guinness heaven!

Granted, this is an anomaly.  Most people don’t marry 23 times in their lives.  But the fact that heterosexuals legally can do this without any uproar from any Evangelical or Mormon groups while homosexuals can’t even legally go into their partner’s hospital deathbed without a fight means that there is something seriously wrong here.

I’m glad that Mormons spent millions of dollars preventing gays from getting married yet seemingly have no problem with Linda Lou Taylor.  She has really upheld that “divine” sanctity of marriage.  All 23 times.